Going Against the Grain

Intentionally starving my children from technology. If I had a daughter, I'd make her wear actual clothing from the pioneer days of Laura Ingalls Wilder. Luckily for my children, they are both boys.

Celebrating Mother’s Day…..Then Shaming Mothers

Now I have nothing against Mother’s Day or Father’s Day for that matter.  It just really grinds my gears when celebration of Mother’s Day and Father’s Day contradicts real life appreciation for mothers and fathers, mainly mothers in this case since that’s what I am.

I have been criticized by a shocking number of people very close to me for my decision to stay at home with my children for the first few years of their lives. My youngest is not even six months old and my oldest is almost 2 1/2.

I am a member of the National Guard and my (paid) work consists of a one weekend a month Guard drill right now, primarily for medical insurance reasons. I also still love putting the uniform on.

I’ve been met with comments like, “Well at least you’re doing something”.

I am also going to be using some military benefits I have and go back to school in the fall to finish my degree. Yes, finally.

Regarding that, I have received comments like, “Oh that’s good. At least you have some sort of plan for the future.”

These comments come from women.

Blatantly disregarding and sidestepping the importance of raising children, they immediately focus on the career woman, in the rat race.

I’ve also received comments like, “Well my mother worked and I went to daycare and I’m fine.”

I’m not saying you’re not (also, defensive much?).

This is my life, and I want to be here for my children every day, ESPECIALLY during the first 5 years. That’s all I say and I get met with comments like the ones above.

I don’t think I’m a better mother than you. It’s just that I’m trying to be the best mother I can be. I am fully confident in my ability as a career woman. I love to work and I am really good at what I do.

Right now all I want to do is to be really good at being a mother.

As long as I fit into the popular majority of working mothers, then I will be accepted.

Accepted is the wrong word. I don’t need to be accepted.

It’s just so hypocritical to celebrate Mother’s Day and then turn around and criticize women who choose to stay at home with their children.

I’m not laying on the couch stuffing cheese puffs in my mouth and binge watching Netflix all day.  Obviously, some stay-at-home mothers have given this job a bad reputation.  I’d like to exclude myself from that narrative (I follow Taylor Swift way too much if you caught that).

There are a handful of my friends that do support the decision and keep their eyebrows in their normal positions instead of constantly raising them at me. And I’m so grateful for that.

Am I being redundant enough yet? Stop acting like you celebrate mothers when all you do is tear them down and judge them for actually WANTING TO BE MOTHERS.

That sounds like I’m shouting. I’m not, well not very loudly anyways. The baby is asleep.

I do understand there are circumstances where there is absolutely no choice for a mother but to have to work.

I thank God that I do not fall into that category.

I’m trying to enunciate and express my passion for this subject. I truly and whole-heartedly love being a mother and I want to literally give it my all right now, while they are little, malleable, unconditionally loving and susceptible human beings.


1 comment found

  1. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes! I be gotten the same but not nearly as much. And you know what happened unexpectedly, I empathize with the wives of military members, especially overseas and Mother’s. I feel bad for how I used to view them. And can I say that this is the very first blog post that I’ve read in its entirety and I absolutely love it. I’m usually rolling my eyes and clicking away before the end of the first paragraph anywhere else <3

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